Saturday, April 08, 2006

The Parent-Teen Relationship - Calgon Take Me Away

Where do you draw the line with teenagers? "Won’t you give him a chance? So what if he’s one year older?" "It's so unfair!”

All teens and their parents deal with issues like this. I recall the many arguments that I had with my father. I bet that he secretly prayed that I have a daughter as bad as me. I think his wish came true.


I have a daughter who will be sweet sixteen in a few months. My husband jokes that she’ll come normal when she is in her twenties, we hope anyway. We try to pick our battles wisely, the ones that we know we can win.



The biggest problem that we are battling is her dating habits. She doesn’t allow her heart to mend from one relationship before she is on to the next.


It just isn’t her. It’s that baby booming age group. In high school, dating has been replaced with random hookups that in turn result in meaningless relationships. She is unable to be independent. Her self esteem is pretty much null.

I've heard some individuals say that teens will follow in their parents footsteps. Well, I don’t believe it, as my husband and I are about to celebrate our 17th anniversary and we still act like newlyweds. We’ve had people say to us, I can’t believe you still hold hands.


We’ve told our daughter that her dating habits are not healthy and we’ve set down the age restriction rule and right now we’ve told her that it’s best she doesn’t date at all. Her past relationship wasn’t healthy and it reflected on grades in two of her classes. Thank goodness that one teacher is giving her the chance to pull up those grades.




Anyway, it just feels that everyday is an argument about something.


Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good kid. She doesn’t cut classes. She doesn’t drink or smoke, though she did try the smoking. She goes to church. She’s polite to her elders.
But, she sure tests her limits with us. I feel like I’m always counting to ten backwards.



I know that some parents avoid the conflict by giving in. They let their children make all the decisions. These teens have no guidance. They pretty much rule the house.

We’ve set standards with our daughter and we enforce the rules. We have expectations and they are not set to high.

I know that with any teen and parent relationship that there is bound to be conflict. It's normal for teens to try to test the rules. But sometimes I just want to scream, “Calgon, take me away!”




Now, my daughter will read this blog entry and say, “I’m driving Mom nuts, my plan is working.” She’ll be in a mental hospital by forty.”



Rose DesRochers


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3 comments:

JMom said...

lol! I know what you mean, I am heading down that same path you are on now and I don't look forward to it. I disliked my mother and didn't think she knew anything pretty all my teen life, until I got to college. So if that happens with my girls, I will be sure to need more than just a calgon bath. I will probably need a whole island to escape to :-)

I am crossing my fingers that they won't want to date until college. Do you think it will happen? ;-)

Rose DesRochers said...

JMom lol. Though motherhood has its moments, I love my children dearly and couldn’t imagine life without them. But, those teen years are so much fun.

Peri said...

Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Can I send my daughter to you in a couple of years? You know, since you'll have the experience.
I guess not. At least I'll be able to check in here for comfort and advice! =)